So You Want To Be Hollywood Skinny?

          To Tame the Blue Ox Indigo Skye, perfection is a myth Never imagining that this glorious white light Hides misfortune within the guise Of the Holy Thin One. Tumbling and careening as precious stones create A mesmerizing kaleidoscope of vivid, sharp-edged horror Your hunger has become your merciless enemy But you could never accept any ounce of satiety  Slim perfection always eludes you--it wins every race. You are purging pain and self-loathing Blend into the bits and pieces The shameful proof of frantic gorging. If your bathroom walls could speak to you They'd implore you to stop your downward spiral Your eyes are a watery red. Stomach muscles convulse There has to be more than feeding the Porcelain Prince.                But there isn't.

     T his is a chapter of a book I'd written and was subsequently published in 1997. It is my own account of a first of several life-threatening eating disorder nightmares. I have decided to post this work as a personal experience that began in 1969, well before the media had heard of this insidious and deadly mental illness. By the time my sixteenth birthday came around, the erratic high school behaviour had begun to take a particularly ominous turn. Always somewhat obsessive about body size and weight, such as comparing myself constantly to other girls and feeling massive beside them, I decided that I would finally do something about it. Thus began my initiation into the wonderful world of dieting, a place that would nearly be my eventual mausoleum six months later. Society was still very much, in 1971, reeling giddily from the impact of Twiggymania. As the fashion industry gained more and more influence over young girls and women in Western civilization, it became inc...

I'll run very far from here.                                         Many miles from my hated mirror. For I have seen the beast; felt his fear.                                                     My future could not be clearer. I must purge the fat from my hidden bones. It repulses, sickens me. And like flying, splintered stones It hurts me----can't you see? I banned you once, you fatted cow; Sent you screaming into the night. But now you're back and I must vow                       To claw and tear and fight. I'll reclaim my power----just wait and see. You'll no longer taint my life. I'll emerge one day; I'll be lithe and free While you dig your grave with your fork and knife. Ru...

R.I.P Susan Harper I cannot believe this incredibly sad news item and even as I write this, I cannot fathom the depths of despair our girl must have sunk to in order to have totally lost hope at twenty. Look, I like a good juicy tidbit about the pitfalls of being in the media just as much as the next person and slagging them all mercilessly is my idea of blogging heaven. There never seem to be enough hours in the day in which to pick apart the lives and paint Hollywood gods for the superficial and unrealistic behemoths they are, but on this damned cold autumn morning, I am completely at a loss for sarcasm and celebrity bashing. Sadly, no-one was surprised that our darling Susie Harper had tragically taken her own life. The warning signs glared brightly enough to grimly illustrate the downward spiral of the actress known more for her relentless partying, scores of male suitors and affinity for nose candy. So why didn't anyone try to help her? I am certain that the answer lies ...

Alice Montgomery knew, at the age of eight, that one day, she would be famous, adored and a beautiful young songstress with which to be reckoned. From using a hair brush and glancing at herself in the mirror as she hit the high notes in "Amazing Grace" to winning a teenage talent contest at thirteen, Alice seemed unstoppable. She was comfortable in her own body, even though she still carried the remnants of stubborn baby fat on her large-boned frame. Life was going much as she'd envisioned as she sat, bored and distracted in her grade school class. "I don't belong here," she lamented, tapping her pen on her desk. "Soon I'm going to blow this stupid popsycle stand and soon everyone will know my name!" Everyone marvelled at Alice's self-confidence and dogged determination to turn the popular music world by storm. Whereas her school buddies dreamed of their favourite boyfriends and looked forward to their high school prom, Alice spent her...